A hawk almost flew into our truck on the way home from my father’s.. it seemed almost like it hovered right in front of the windshield, wings spanned as we slammed the brakes. We managed not to hit it and it just clipped us on its way. The following night came the dream of her and the hawk.. a lady new which both broke my heart and made it sing. I choose not to work with this one. I set it free as I have too much as it is right the now. I know it is a good thing but I cannot bear it just yet.
The following Saturday, I took down my altar. My intent was to wait for Imbolc but I just felt it was time. Walking Bear had suggested to me that it was needed along with a good smudging. I ultimately decided to leave it fairly bare for a bit and build back as it comes to me.. only those things that felt needed, that felt right. It’s oddly freeing right now. I have nothing up there. Tonight I plan to place a candle in observance. It’s been a tough few months and I’ve lost so many pieces of myself. I’ve also spent quite a bit in shadow learning the truth of my heart. Taking my time rebuilding seems just where I need to be right now.
So it was that the day found me ready and I wrapped my fetiches in bits of original altar cloth, humming them a short comforting farewell, explaining the whys.. with some I may be parting, but I will not know until it is time. I cleared off and stored all that I might need later.. offering dishes, rocks from our first home, seashells from so many beach visits, my mirror.. so many things. I smudged and relocated the box.. everyone seemed to find that it was the most off and also the whisky bottle with the feather that never felt quite right. Some of the others wound up on my air shrine. Slowly the pieces found their way away and the altar was simply a window ledge once again. Tonight I will be lighting candles throughout the house for Imbolc, starting with that one.. I live in hope that they will bring with them all sorts of new.