a quiet stabbing

quietstabbing

..something was being put to my direction, like a quiet stabbing..

I woke up after a day spent in anger still angry. I just could not find my Zen. The old reading popped into my head.. yes, there was a quiet stabbing and now I had a smarting back.

five of arrows, frustration – a goat with long curving horns and a wildly tangled coat leaps upward into the sky.. around it are four arrows, none of which strike it.. unfocused energy leads to the archer releasing inaccurate arrows or lashing out in an uncontrolled manner..

As it was, it turned out that I was indeed both the goat and the archer (see – sometimes I do follow up on my writings).. the arrows of my words sent out and also being fired back. Thankfully, I spoke my truths long ago and I stand by their original context.

..take a deep breath and steady your mind.. see the futility of games played against you and go about your business.. cocoon yourself away from outside influences.. the trees act as a reminder to follow your path..

Nothing had changed really, except that I now held more knowledge and a clearer perspective. If you walk your path with integrity and truth, there should be no need for these things.. that was my first response.. pre-Zen. However, thought reminded me, we are but human and can only do our best.

My truths for today (before they escape me) – We don’t have to agree, but we can learn from our differences. Our diversity should be a strength. Your fellow is not a tool to be used, or worse.. persecuted. Yes, I will stand up for them. You should too. Learn from one another. Strive to be kind. Extend that kindness to yourself. Do your best. I will do mine. Be true. Speak those truths when necessary. Breathe.

I lit the candles and steadied my thoughts. “And now?” This I asked, knowing the question was not very specific. I shuffled the threes..

eight of bows, hearthfire – on the edge of a sparse winter forest camp, lit with the warm dancing flames of a large log fire, we see eight figures gathered around a roaring hearthfire.. the merry band raise goblets, shake hands and laugh, bathing in the shared bonds of fellowship and harmony created by the true loyalty of lifelong friends..

Ironic, that was my first thought.. but then if not for this situation, this card would have spoken to me of another. Soon after, I heard from said other.

four of stones, protection – the newly risen sun brings hope and renewed vitality to the vulnerable..shelter and protection for the weak or the spiritually wounded is the responsibility of us all.. for those who have weathered adversity and known loss, the light of life and love will always burn brightly within them.. by building on a foundation of ethical beliefs, boundaries and skills, we can be assured that when the test comes we are secure in our self-knowledge and confidence.. the human ability to recognize and feel compassion for those who need help is just as important..

To the lost, may you know my hut is ever open.. even if you choose to burn me in the hearthfire..

 

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4 thoughts on “a quiet stabbing

  1. Seven of Stones … I think, as with Frustration’s image, you could easily be both. Another thought comes to mind, after reading this post: why allow someone into your hut who would pervert Hearthfire in such a way as to use it to burn you? While I fully understand how noble your statement is, I think allowing Hearthfire to be twisted, allowing yourself to be harmed by it … it’s hard for me to imagine you allowing this to happen.

  2. Because, love.. The lost don’t always act in intention and even if they do and I am naive in that I don’t always know they intend harm, but I do always hold the hope that they will find a little support and acceptance, guidance and kindness that will help them, comfort them, help them on their path and teach me something if I’m so privaliged along the way. I wouldn’t say I allow it by any means but that I accept sometimes these things happen and sometimes I am not party to the reasons. That said, I think my intention behind the writing was more that these things will not stop me from helping if I can, but think about how you treat your fellow person. I will not be party to playing these games and though I would like to hide away in my hut to not open myself up to these things, I will not because I am still here for those seeking.

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