“..scales fall from your eyes.. resurrection, rebirth.. beyond division.. innocence and experience become one..” – Judgement card, the Mary-El Tarot
I’ve always liked the idea of working in cycles.. the fool making his journey to find oftentimes that he is back at the beginning, the seasons moving through time, the imagery of the serpent swallowing his tail. It all speaks to me of cycles and of revisiting things from a new point further along the path.
I often draw a card around Yule-ish to help figure where I want to start my work in the coming year.. what I need to be paying attention to. This past card was Judgement. It brought to mind that cycling back to things previously discarded and of which I am currently working on. She has visited me before on other matters and no doubt she will visit me again.
Early one evening, post equinox celebrations and plant fondling with friends, Lola and I found ourselves discussing earlier discussions.. and Judgement popped in to remind me of more work needed. As I said, she tends to do this every now and again.. only this time it was a little more personally.
I tend to be a very judgmental soul – at least in my own spiritual. I strive very hard to work through it, to be honest and vocal about it in my path. It’s important to me that although there may be times when my words are twisted, that I am upfront in such matters. I strive even harder in this said vocal to impart the point that I am applying it to my path – just mine, and beyond that it is of no matter. Everyone must judge for themselves the path they wish to tread.
Somehow though, I seem to (mostly) unintentionally squash some toes.. which generally isn’t my intention at all. My intention is and always has been to keep things open and (sometimes painfully) up front.. to be clear in my words. I am not so sure I always succeed. This is where, Judgement whispered, I had done Lola an injustice. I had not done so well at explaining our working relationship.. my response tends to be that I’m working with someone and honestly I tend to ignore most outside rabble.
It’s no big secret that I have a long standing dislike for rigid structure in my spiritual.. that mentor-student, priest/ess-initiate, syllabus-degree, insert-whatever-here thing that works so well for most is just not my cuppa. I am a terrible teacher and an even worse student. Shiny things distract me constantly. To be clear, I am not saying there is no value in the system but that for me personally I prefer an even exchange.. no one above another as everyone old and new I think brings something to the table, a free flow of discussion, a sharing of information. Luckily I don’t work in huge groups so it isn’t a difficult thing to accomplish.. this is what Lola and I base our practice around.
We did put together a very loose structure around those cycles of what we wanted to incorporate within each wheel turn and revisit it every season to decide on a focus. Sometimes we stick to it and other times spirit calls us in a different direction. Sometimes we compromise. Always we collaborate to make sure it is something that works for both of us.
We entered into this partnership with baggage and tangle. Make no mistake, we lost much and had lots of ugly bits to work through. Many things were loosed along the way to get to where we needed to be but we did it. We worked hard on those shadows and made those painful choices to come out with something beautiful. Owl had called us forward and spirit tied us tight as we stepped forward, took each other’s hand that day and on even footing, we answered her call. I doubt either of us take it lightly. We shouldn’t.. it was hard work.
“Scales fall from your eyes.. resurrection, rebirth.. beyond division.. innocence and experience become one..” Who here holds the innocence and who holds the experience? We both do.