Focus on what works.. this was my card draw. Where do I start? There’s my cozy home, full off all the things that bring joy and what the husband affectionately refers to as the witchy junk shop. Speaking of – there’s my best husband in the world who I adore even more than our fancy pants coffee machine (if you knew my love of coffee, that’s something special).
I have the most loving giant monster kitties. There’s enough of a paycheck for us all to eat and live comfortably.. something I am grateful for because it wasn’t always so. I have a strong spiritual practice that provides me with what is needed. I have a really good life. So, basically, I was a bit unsure (other than fine tuning my manifestation list) on how to fully embrace this card.. that was until the full moon rolled around.
I am a big believer in always seeking, always learning.. even if I am not exactly sure it will be a fit for me. It enables me the chance to embrace a bit of new, or at least rule out what doesn’t move me. With this in mind, I decided to continue on with the work of the previous full moon. After all, I felt like I was still seeing ripples of movement from it.
Although I see it as more of a jumping off point, with parts of it guiding a loose framework, I want to really work through the original process a few more times. I would like to get a better feel for what is (and is not) fitting with ease.
Intuitively I feel like simplifying the meditation and allowing the different aspects of the ritual flow in hand with the entire cycle instead of cramming all the tasks into one go would be better. I think this would not only allow for focus where needed in any particular place in the cycle but also work more in hand with the moon’s energies. I am excited to see how this evolves.
As I heard this saying filter across my tiny sphere of existence, I thought – yep, that is DEFINITELY me. I am that person, even to my own detriment, who will wear themselves down with the compulsion to help/please/fill needs. Often I become quite the Bitter Betty about it. The lesson is that giving should be done freely and without return expectations.
I do realize, of course, that this is not a fair response. After all, did I not give the permission to ask, ask, and even expect? Indeed I did. There is no use being cranky about it, but my ego doesn’t always read the memo.. hence the downward spiral of codependency and apathetic breakups. I am just no good at tribe.
As part of my full moon just past, I decided to explore an expected ritual.. or more that I took this class hoping for inspiration and received the usual cleanse-meditate-release formula. At the onset I was a bit bitchy about it (and the knock to my bank account) but I wound up getting a lot out of it. I had to eat my words.
I took the salt bath and oiled my skin. As I drank my special tea and started the meditation, I quickly found myself wandering off the given path onto my own. I have always been terrible with directions. In my mind’s eye, I pulled the moon’s energy into my body and focused on the drums beating as I walked to meet my ancestors. Bear kept a watchful eye on me along the way.
I asked them what was needed this cycle. The answer was swift – weed out the chatter and listen to the deep within.. boundaries, fear, and the need sickness are holding you. It is a time for shifting. When these unserving become, acknowledge them with gratitude for the lesson and move on. “Don’t dwell”, spoke the oldest woman sharply. She was new to me in this circle.. the hyenas near her were not. I left quickly and made my way back for the work ahead. Oh, and the release? I set to flame those things I was beating myself up with and went in about my evening.