“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” – Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
“ ‘Cackling’, to a witch, didn’t just mean nasty laughter. It meant your mind drifting away from its anchor. It meant you losing your grip. It meant loneliness and hard work and responsibility and other people’s problems driving you crazy a little bit at a time, each bit so small that you’d hardly notice it, until you thought that it was normal to stop washing and wear a kettle on your head. It meant you thinking that the fact you knew more than anyone else in your village made you better than them. It meant thinking that right and wrong were negotiable.” – TP, Wintersmith
For whatever unnamed reason, I’ve been getting the impression that people moving on the outs of my little universe are finding my turn of focus recently not exactly in line with how they view me.. or maybe it’s just that my inward chatter needs some addressing. I understand that completely. In either ways, I am still very much the witch (insert preferred descriptors here) that I’ve always been. You will still find me doing much of the work I always have, albeit in a much quieter and simpler manner.. my hut is just a bit more closed up for the moment due to a minor cackling.
I have found in this a need to focus on looking inward. If this seems very selfish, I assure you that it is. I own that. However, at the onset of trying to deal with some personal health earlier in the year, I realized that I was not at all who I wanted to be in many aspects and so, like all rickety huts, my foundation needed work.
I promise that it is indeed work to look deep into one’s own shadows.. there is no bypassing going on here. This said, I understand and acknowledge the validity of those feelings and you can kindly duck off to find your happy place with assurance that I love you and wish you all the goodness in the world. You do you, and I’ll do me. This is authentically where I choose to be right now.
Currently, I am working through and acknowledging my not so good bits, releasing them with the intention to not dwell overmuch, learning to honor my hell no boundaries (which btw is way overdue), and choosing to focus on what is good in my life and spiritual. This I plan to build on. Spirit, my ancestors, and trust in the universe will guide. I am doing this work with an open heart and open mind to the best that I can.
P.S. I have added a random adorable photo of the fat cat to perpetuate all the good feels I am sending your way. Doesn’t he have the best ever belly?